Release

written by Alyson Arrington

So I will start off by saying that I have never written a blog post before, and one might turn to me in response and say something along the lines of: “well why don’t you just read a few posts of a blog and get the feel for it and then write away!” Before I graduated college, before I entered the Fellows program, that is precisely what I would have done. However keeping in tune with my one-word prayer that Papa Tripp stirred within each one of us at our very first family dinner (under the stars I might add, it was very classy): I am going to not read any blog posts nor even ask Jessie what it is I am supposed to be writing here!

Release. Release is my one word prayer. Tripp asked us each to think of one word that we wished to be praying for each other in this season together here in sweet, sweet Greensboro. I know for myself there has been such an enormous shift in being able to release my impatience, fears, disappointments and restlessness to the Lord this semester. When I pass along this blog to the other Fellows each week, I am hoping that each of us will be able to convey to all of us reading this that they too are feeling the prayers and their one word develop in them. For me I first felt my word really developing during our trip to Virginia for our testimony retreat weekend. I wrestled from the moment Tripp sent the email about how to deliver my story; the parts of it that are painful, the parts that could be awkward, even the parts that make my heart smile. I decided not to type it all up and pore over it every two days and edit it until it was perfect like I planned. I decided to RELEASE it to the Lord and the words that were supposed to come out would come out and there wouldn’t be any preparation.

I hope the rest of the Fellows are finding time to explore their words as well, and maybe even beginning to pray some of each other’s words for their own lives. Because while a lot of us Fellows ran around like chickens with our heads cut off the first semester (I believe that is the way Elsa put it) as we settled into new roles and new living situations and new jobs and responsibilities, I was always calmed by the idea that God has put each of us here in this program together for reasons we aren’t supposed to understand yet. We might have looked at each other at one point, and thought, “I have absolutely no idea how they are going to make a difference in my life”. But that’s the beauty of it! The Fellows program is a recipe picked out by the Lord; Tripp and Sarah have done the grocery shopping and dumped us all in one big bowl and now it’s up to the 14 of us to ride the whisk as God mixes the bowl.

“I find you Lord in all Things and in all my fellow creatures, pulsing with your life; as a tiny seed you sleep in what is small, and in the vast you vastly yield yourself.” – The Book of Hours

Fellows Fold International

So it's June.

(I know, I know – how did that happen? No clue.)

But it's June and that means a few things.

First – it means our year as Fellows is coming to an end. There's been a lot of lasts lately – last morning prayer, last family dinner, last day of classes, last day of work. This past weekend was our final retreat. I sat on a porch with my favorite people, listening to rain fall and thinking – how did it go so fast? It feels like just yesterday we were sitting on that same porch, sharing our favorite books and movies and talking about what the next ten months would bring, and now here we are, retelling stories from the past ten months.

It's been an incredible year, to say the least. I don't know how to accurately describe what the Fellows program does for you, but I can honestly tell you it's been life-changing. It's a community that will last through eternity. It's challenging your theology and learning how to worship the Lord with your mind. It's living out your faith in the workplace. It's getting up before the sun to pray together. It's a perspective on life that keeps Christ in the center.

We're all different people – better people, I believe – because of our time as Fellows. And as we say – once a Fellow, always a Fellow. The program is ending, but our friendship isn't. It's just going to look a little different next year.

But, sappy emotional endings aside – June means something else. June means we're all getting on a place and flying to Rwanda.

We'll be spending two weeks in Rwanda, visiting our sister parish in Karangazi, learning from a Hope International savings group, visiting Compassion School Projects and seeing the work of ICM. Redeemer has a long-standing relationship with the Karangazi Parish, and many of the people going on our trip have visited Karangazi before. That's what makes this trip feel so special – we're stepping into an established relationship with our brothers and sisters. Andrea, a member of the Fellows Class of 2012-2013, is returning with us this year and can't wait to see her friends from her last trip. Many Redeemer families sponsor children through Compassion – in fact, Sarah Moubray and Stacey are co-sponsoring a sweet girl named Phionah and will get to meet her for the first time.

We're all so excited to see what God is doing in Rwanda, to get a wider perspective on the church, and to grow closer as we travel together. But – we need your help.

First: pray for us. We absolutely believe in the power of prayer. So many of you have been praying for the Fellows this year and we would really appreciate if you could just cover us in prayer a little bit longer. Pray for safe travels, pray for eyes to see and ears to hear what God is doing, pray for protection for those who aren't taking malaria medication (no really, pray for that.)

Second: turns out international airfare isn't cheap. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with us financially? As a group, we're trying to raise $3,000 to help cover our trip costs. We've already raised a portion of that (shout-out to anyone who bought a t-shirt!) but there's still a ways to go. If you'd like to support us financially, there are a few ways to do that!

We're running an online auction through Better World Collective to raise money. There are some great things up there for sale – you get an awesome deal and we get funding for our trip! It's a win-win. Check it out and see if anything catches your interest! https://gfp.betterworldcollective.com/

If you'd prefer to just donate directly, you can do that too! Our Donate page has all the information you'll need. You can donate by credit card or check...we like to make your life easy, so do whatever is best for you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has supported us this year, in everything from praying to opening your home to writing a check to feeding us. This is possible because of you, and we're all incredibly humbled by the knowledge that so many of you believe in the Fellows and believe in God's work through the Fellows enough to invest in us. We have been so blessed through you – thank you for showing us God's love.

Finally, if you want to follow our journey to Rwanda, all our adventures will be documented here on the Redeemer to Rwanda blog. We'll be sharing pictures, stories, and prayer requests from our trip. Follow along as we take the Fellows Fold international!

With much love and thankful hearts,

the Greensboro Fellows Class of 2015

Who I Am & Who God Is

written by Graham Monroe

This semester, during our Monday morning discipleship hour, each Fellow is taking turns leading. This past Monday, Graham invited the Fellows into an exercise that he has been using recently in his quiet times - writing out who God says you are, and who God is. Identity, purpose and guidance can then flow more freely out of that knowledge and encouragement. Here are some of his writings:

Who God Is:
God is a good and trustworthy Father. My guide and protector. A lamp to my feet. God is always near, and never changing. God is the ultimate source of satisfaction. God is kind and victorious, holy, greater and mysterious.

• gracious, loving
• judge
• sustainer
• fountain of blessing
• omnipresent
• healer
• everlasting
• gracious
• merciful
• beautiful
• Abba/daddy
• king of kings
• shelter
• jealous
• infinite
• persister
• consistent

Who God says I am:

I am a child. A son of a royal priest. A son to the King. I am expensive, bought with the highest price of heaven. I am a saint. I am one with Christ Jesus and made new. I have favor with the royal family of heaven for I am a citizen of heaven. I am adopted, redeemed, forgiven, justified and being sanctified. I am loved. I am cared for. I am a friend to Jesus. I am pure, holy and blameless. I am a temple to where Christ's spirit that overcame the grave dwells. I am a branch.

• co-laborer
• ambassador
• reflector of glory
• his bride
• disciple
• sheep
• fearfully and wonderfully made
• adopted
• beloved
• servant
• leader
• teacher
• chosen people

A Pretty Good Place

Written by Stacey Greene

The month of January seemed to fly by and with it came new dreams, two birthdays and an overwhelming sense of His goodness and love. 

Stacey at her birthday celebration this month. 

Yesterday I had the incredible blessing to just sit and be still. A few of the other fellows and I went and had a picnic and it would seem it was just what each of us needed. My heart needed the opportunity to just be still underneath the sunshine, reflect, and be with people whom I have come to love so dearly. 

A few weeks ago the Fellows took a trip to the Wolfe’s cabin and each of us shared our testimonies. If you asked me at the beginning of our time together I would have said it was my least favorite time of the year. I come from a very small family and sharing my feelings and life experiences has never come easy to me. However, as I listened to my brothers and sisters share how God has intricately placed His hand in their lives, I wept not only of joy, but this new idea of family.

Months ago, Kyle asked me what I believed God has been preparing me for. I said to him then, I believe God is preparing my heart and mind to understand family outside of my family in Florida. We are, together, brothers and sisters in a family of the greatest kingdom on Earth. As I listened to the continuous suffering of the other fellows, I realized my heart was breaking for loved ones, for family. I hated the idea they underwent grief and misery and I wasn’t there to offer words of encouragement or even a gentle embrace of love. In my time of reflection yesterday I began to grasp the idea of how much love I have and how little I give. 

Every time a trial comes to me or my family, I think of the words from the Bible in Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God,” and I am often comforted. Sometimes, though, I wonder just what it means to be still and what exactly I need to do to make that happen. I’m sure more days like yesterday would be ideal, but how do you find stillness in the day-to-day, chaotic, messy adventure of life? Unfortunately, I am nowhere near to having a semblance of an answer, but one thing I am sure of, family is all around me. You can go wherever you want. See whatever you want to but a place is only as good as the people you know in it. I think this is a pretty good place.

Trees of Faith

written by Kyle Gassaway

Before I explain what I’m thinking I want to give full credit to my buddy Graham Monroe for this image he received in his mind.  Graham and I are both very visual people, so we see life and all its complexities through visuals and symbols.  I compare it to the movie, “Inception”, where people’s minds are given thoughts by others that change how they would act.  It’s a fascinating concept and I believe that God does this when He speaks through His Holy Spirit to His people.  I can’t explain fully how it works, but when God gave me His spirit I remember this visual inception becoming a new experience in my life.  I could tell more about my experiences, but now I want to tell about the Tree of Faith.  

So there is this tree growing in the middle of a room.  Water is falling from the ceiling onto the leaves, then the branches and down to the ground.  The tree should be growing with all this water and nutrients it is receiving from above yet it's not.  The reason for this is apparent when one sees the ground it is growing from.  There are these large holes in the dirt all around the base of the tree that are capturing the water that was meant for the roots of the tree.  The tree is beginning to wither, because its nutrients are being drawn away by these pits in the mud.  

Then comes the realization that the tree is the faith and life of the Christian, and the holes that surround it are the lies we believe about ourselves and the parts of ourselves that doubt God.   You see, God has continued to rain down on us blessing after blessing every day, yet these holes are not allowing us to receive in thankfulness and faith what God wants us to receive.  Our souls begin to whither the longer we can’t see the doubts and lies that often times are so subtle and so built into ourselves that they are even subconscious.  So what is a tree like you and I to do, which is being starved of faith and love?  

The solid ground that must be used to cover these holes is the very promises of the Lord, our God.  His truth and His Word is the only weapons we have against the lies that have stolen from us for all our lives.  The lies that have remained under the surface in hidden places that only God can see.  The doubts that persist in deep parts of us can only be healed by faith and truth.  In Mark 9:24, a man whose son needs to be healed by Jesus of an evil Spirit, is told by Jesus that all he needs to do is believe and his son will be healed.  The man in a desperate appeal that resonates in the corridors of my soul exclaims,  “I believe, help my unbelief!”   I feel my soul crying out these very words when I see the holes in my life.  I try to fill them myself, but they always seem to open wide again and drain me.  I have come to the point like many others in the family of faith that can no longer live in futility by covering them by our own means.  

God is the great Healer and Savior of us trees and He has set forth His spirit and His Word to be the applier of the healing.  Let us, as people of faith, cling to the promises that God has made to us in Christ and pray for the unbelief to become like a living spring in our hearts.  This is the final part of the image, that these holes that once stole the water from our roots become springs of water that feed us when the promises of God sink down deep enough to purge our unbelief and fill us from the inside-out.

Half Way

written by Hannah Boning

It's almost impossible to believe how quickly the time has gone, how fast this adventure has flown by. It still feels like October in my head, somehow, and I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that no, it's halfway over. Halfway over? How can it be halfway over? We just started.

But here we are, it's January, and people are starting to ask what we're doing next year, we're starting to talk about jobs and school and plans. It's easy sometimes, to get so caught up in tomorrow and the next day and the next month and the next year, the what-comes-next – especially in a program like this one, this short time – that I forget to sit back and look at what's around me.

Because what's around me? It's so beautiful. It's so good. I miss it, sometimes, when I'm trying to figure out how to answer the so what's next and so what do you want to do questions, and also trying to do my church history reading, and memorize all those Bible verses, and make sure I have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow and feed myself and be on time to morning prayer. I miss how good this is, what a gift this year is. That's really the only way I can describe it: it's a gift.

I'm surrounded by the best people. They love me so well, even when I'm not loving them well. They want the best for me, and they want me to be the best I can, and they love me toward Jesus. They're teaching me and serving me and blessing me. Sarah and Stacey and Graham and Kyle and Sean, this family that we've built - sometimes it's messy, but family always is - but we're trying our best to love well. And Tripp, and Sarah, and my mentor and my host home and my coworkers, and the people that make us dinner and open their homes and let us sleep on their floors, they love us well. So many people give to make this program a possibility – give of their time, and money, and their homes and hearts and love. I look around and I see them, this cloud of witnesses, loving us in a million little ways.

In them all, I see Jesus. I see God providing and protecting and blessing abundantly. I'm reminded that God will always provide and protect and bless. I'm surrounded by a living testament to His love in this church and this community that has completely and totally opened their arms and welcomed the Fellows in. They love us and I see Jesus moving in their midst, saying see, daughter, see? I will never forsake you.

So here we are. Second semester, halfway through. I'm trying to figure it all out, trying to come up with the next steps, but every day I am reminded that I don't need to fear. Every day I feel the tug to slow down, to look around. To see how good it all is, how beautiful.

Tripp asked us recently about the remaining half of this program. What do we feel God calling us to? What do we see Him doing? What do we want to press into, to learn, to experience during second semester? There's so much, so much I want to do and see and experience. I want it all, I want – as is typical of my usual overachieving self – to get everything I possibly can out of this program. I want to be the best Fellow you've ever seen. I want to learn and grow and develop as much as one person can do in nine months. But what I want to hold on to during second semester is just how good it is, how good God is. I want to be still and watch Him work. I want to live in gratitude. I want to delight.

It's halfway over, but that means we still have half left. And I think it's going to be good.

Behind the Scenes

written by Graham Monroe

For each fellow and each leader, there are certain unspoken things that knit our community together in an encouraging and renewing way. I want to take a moment to go over each person that has a major roll in the Fellows Program and tell you some fun stories that will give you a better look into the life of a Fellow from my personal experience. 

Tripp Graziano, Director of the Fellows Program here in Greensboro is known for his lively personality and ability to make things happen. What you may not know about Tripp is that he is an early riser and a night owl. The man doesn’t seem to need much sleep as he values time with the Lord in the morning and time with others at night. 

Our Assistant Director Sarah Reid has an incredible servant heart, and with that comes many things that are unseen. Sarah has always been incredibly quick to encourage. Last week there was a large gathering for the youth group at Redeemer that Sarah and I were at and during that time I told her how nervous I was. The next day Sarah texted me the most encouraging words about how I was apparently a “natural” at hanging out with those kids, truly kind words that no one would have ever known about! 

The pastor of our church, Alan Hawkins, is a humble and caring man, so he is going to do many acts of kindness that no one will ever even know about, BUT I know about some of them. Alan not only makes time to teach our church history lessons on Wednesdays, not only does he lead our church every Sunday, but what people don’t see is when Alan opens his house to people like me and my friend Brian who have theological questions that we can trust him to answer. Alan is our pastor who opened his house to us and spent time just talking with us when he could be spending time with his family. I have not found that in any other church and trust me I have tried in many churches. 

Does Elijah Lovejoy get enough credit here? If we are talking about the unseen work that goes into the Fellows Program Elijah must be mentioned. Elijah is also a pastor at Redeemer who teaches our apologetic classes on Wednesdays. What people don’t see is Elijah giving jobs to the youth in our community, leading people in a healing ministry, and my personal favorite that most don’t see is Elijah's ability to hear from the Lord during a conversation with him. If you have ever sat down and had a conversation with this man, you understand what I mean. 

Now there are a lot of people that do a lot of things behind the scenes, but the Meriwethers must get credit for the “BEHIND THE SCENES” award. I am going to be honest, Jessie Meriwether has so many duties I just text her if anything goes wrong. Jessie helps with finances, scheduling events, hosting parties, hosting morning prayer, building the church website, building the Fellows website, she is the queen of everything that no one sees. Credit must also be given to the king of behind the scenes, Chris Meriwether. Let me explain what the Meriwethers did just this past week: they hosted a first year fellow to live with them, they hosted a current fellow to live with them, they hosted morning prayer on Monday where they made breakfast and delicious coffee, they let me come over to play N64 two days this week and to top it all off they hosted a movie night where there was a small army crammed into one living room. 

My hope is that those who are in life and feel as though they are just barely making it, you should know that you will be honored in heaven one day. The moments you may think don’t matter, the moments where you may think no one is looking, in those moments God is watching intently so that He can honor you for them later.