"Blawging"

Written by Tom Barker

Generally, I do not like the notion of blogging. I see it as attention seeking. Why should I expect people to want to read what I have to say about my mundane life as though I think I have wisdom other people need? Now, if you’re going on a big trip or doing a year-long Fellows Program and people want to hear about your adventures, that’s a reason. So, I’ll do it because you ask. Because I love you, mystery reader, except Winston. You know what you did.

After losing every single one of my marbles sitting around this summer waiting for something to happen, starting the Fellows Program was a refreshing, if jarring, breath of fresh air. When I am worn down I get bitter, when I get bitter I get angry, then suspicious, when all that happens I withdraw emotionally and grow cold and shy. I fully expected to feel very out-of-place in the Fellows Program. Because this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, that was the case, for about a day. Then I woke up and suddenly remembered: “Oh, right. I actually like people! I forgot.” After my epiphany, I quickly came to realize that every single person involved with the Fellows Program was an exceptionally likeable and kind person.

We spent much of the next week learning too much about ourselves, understanding our Myers-Briggs and our five big Strengths and Weaknesses. I’m an INFJ, which is apparently the rarest personality type. Shortly thereafter, we began our jobs. I work as a marketing intern for a non-profit organization called City 616. Their mission is to develop community and share God’s love with every person they can find, especially those who aren’t likely to find that anywhere else. I spent much of the first week worried about my own future and financial situation. It turns out adults seem to function as middlemen between those who pay them and those who need to be paid (like insurance companies and Fellows programs that require tuition in order to function). 

 Soon it was pointed out me that the question I needed to be asking working at a Christian ministry wasn’t “Am I going to be okay at the end of this year?” it was “What can I do to share God’s love this year?” I’m sure that would be more constructive than the self-centered alternative, maybe like writing a blog post because I think I’m cool versus doing it because other people care. Maybe I can do things for the right reason rather than selfishly, but only with help, preferably from an all-powerful deity named God.