Find You Here

By Michelle Prillaman

Well, here again I meet this blog. Where I’m supposed to write thoughts and what’s happening in my life and what I’m learning. To be honest, this past year has been a train wreck. Multiple deaths in my family has left me struggling. Struggling with numbness. Struggling with connecting with others and with God. Struggling to focus. Life is hard. Death is hard. Pain is deep. Grieving is long. 20-year-old younger brothers aren’t supposed to get in a fatal car crash. Yet here we are. I really feel the groaning Paul talks about in Romans 8:22-23:

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirt, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.”

We truly are not citizens of this painful world we live in. And all of creation is groaning, waiting for Jesus to make everything new like he promises in Revelation 21:5. And right now, I’m just stuck in that waiting. Praying that in the meantime, God would restore to me the joy of my salvation (Psalm 51:12).

            I’ve been listening to Ellie Holcomb’s new album, Red Sea Road, a lot this week. Just trying to remind myself of some truth since I don’t find myself in a great place right now. The song “Find You Here” is a reminder that God is

“Here when the healing hasn’t happened yet

Here in the middle of the desert place

Here in the middle when I cannot see your face”

Thankfully, God is still present when we don’t feel him and when things don’t make sense. Our pain and doubt aren’t too much for him. And just because things don’t make sense to me doesn’t mean God isn’t still working. I just need to work on really trusting that. God is still good. And we can grieve with hope. Anyways, that’s about all I’ve got since I’m not much of a writer. Feel free to listen to the song I mentioned in the video below!