Lead with Repentance

By Rachel Yowell

        This year, we have been challenged to think about a myriad of topics including, but not limited to sexuality, immigration, disability, marriage & singleness, Calvinism, radical hospitality, forgiveness, mission, and so much more. I have been challenged in my thinking in so many ways, I don’t quite know where to put it all! But it has been an incredible time of growth. Because I could talk for days on how much I’ve learned and what my thoughts are with all of it, I’m going to keep it simple, and highlight a few of the biggest takeaways.

         A few weeks ago, a few of us went to our diocese Blue Ridge Regional Conference in Roanoke, VA. The topic of discussion was sexuality and brokenness. At the core of our brokenness is loneliness. We were told that we can overcome the loneliness in others by radical hospitality. Not only does this apply for those who may be struggling with homosexuality, but anyone in our lives: the divorced mom, the widower, the refugee, the single man or woman, the mentally handicapped, the lost, everyone. After the main discussion, I chose to go to the session on how to minister to those struggling with same-sex attraction. Before discussing anything on the topic, we began the session with a time of confession and repentance. It was a huge reminder that we, ourselves, are broken and sinful and need to confess and repent before we are able to even begin helping someone else in their brokenness. We will not be in a place, or a proper mindset, to accept others in their brokenness and their struggles if we have not yet reflected on our own sin and brokenness. It is a good reminder that we need the Lord when we are helping our friends. We need the Lord when we extend forgiveness. Leading with repentance allows us to enter into those situations and view the other people rightly.  His grace is sufficient for you, for me, for the person dealing with same-sex attraction, for everyone. This directly coincides with one of the biggest things I have been learning about this year: forgiveness. Forgiving someone who wronged you is one of the hardest things to do as humans, yet it is one of the most necessary. Reflecting on our own shortcomings, and thanking the Lord for the forgiveness He has given us, allows us to forgive, and it is an incredibly freeing and life-giving thing to do! Forgiveness and repentance puts us in a position looking to Christ and not ourselves. This reminds me of my favorite devotional passage, which I revisit often, “Looking Unto Jesus” by Charles Spurgeon. He writes,

“It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan’s work is just the opposite, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ...all of these thoughts are about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self...We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are that gives rest to the soul.”

          It makes sense that forgiveness, repentance, radical hospitality works: it turns our eyes away from ourselves and onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). But it is so hard to forgive, repent, and put others way ahead of ourselves, because it is a call to die to ourselves. It is my hope that God’s family would live into that, and be set apart by how quickly we forgive, and by how radically hospitable we are, that we would go out of our way to overcome the loneliness in people lives.

          In other news, we are gearing up for our trip to Rwanda, which will round out our fellows year! So hard to believe it’s coming so quickly, but I can’t wait to meet, be with, learn from, and worship with our brothers and sisters across the ocean!